I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The ass gains better be worth it
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