do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
