if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Randomize
