But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i out mim tonsoeep
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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