So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
