there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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