just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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