Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
