I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You're earring is so big in my mouth
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize