Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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