she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
