So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
