i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
