So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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