well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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