You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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