ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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