the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
