I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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