So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
