reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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