i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
