ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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