I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
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