Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
