you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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