This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
