No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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