You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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