I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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