But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
