He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize