Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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