i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize