Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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