I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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