great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
