i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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