No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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