Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
