Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
