I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
