That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
