do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize