I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
