This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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