conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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