so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
