tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize