My nipple is on Facebook.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
