im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
