shes about as inviting as chlamydia
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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