At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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