everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
