Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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