Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize