1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize