do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
