Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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