My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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