How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
So many bounce houses so little time
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
