I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
