Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
3 2 1 whiskey
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
