So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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