hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
